First and foremost, I spoke to my boss today and I’m being kept! This obviously a very good thing! I was a bit anxious about going away on holiday for two weeks and not knowing for certain, but now I’m in a very very good mood! So yay!

Also, I bumped into my old college lecturer today on my way home from work, and we caught up and everything and he asked me to teach a class on Ruby on Rails at some point in the near future - which is also very very cool!

I’m just getting my odds and ends sorted now, stuff like finding my passport and moving my holiday money around. 2 days til Houston!

Also guys, remember that I've moved to http://blog.neolinesw.co.uk.

Moving to http://blog.neolinesw.co.uk

Yesterday I had a job interview for a Web Development company in Dundee (MTC Media). Today they offered me a job to start on Monday, pending references.

YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I try to keep politics and political sounding things out of both my blog and general conversations, but I read something in the paper today that set my blood boiling:

2 years ago, a 14 year old boy, Cody Posey shot his father, stepmother and stepsister dead at a ranch in New Mexico. This is, of course a very terrible thing and my intent with this post is not in any way meant to make this tragedy any less than what it is – the cold blooded murder of three people by a clearly disturbed young man.

What made me angry was that the family of Posey’s victims is now suing Sony and Take 2 Interactive (As well as Posey himself) for punitive damages and compensation in excess of $600 million.

Why? Because he played Grand Theft Auto on his Playstation, a video game clearly marketed in the UK and America as not being for sale to minors (under 18s in specific).

Take 2 Interactive are the owners of Rockstar North, the Edinburgh-based games company formerly known as DMA Design who have been responsible for games such as Lemmings series, as well as the more controversial Grand Theft Auto.

If you don’t know who Sony are, you’ve been living under a rock since the ‘60s.

Now, the lawsuit claims that Grand Theft Auto is a “Virtual Reality Murder Simulator” and it trained to use a gun in such a way that it turned him into  "an extraordinarily effective killer without teaching him any of the constraints or responsibilities needed to inhibit such a killing capacity”.

Now, I am not going to dispute GTA’s status as a very, very violent game where you play a character who lies, cheats, steals, murders and maims. I’m certainly not going to say that the game is a healthy thing for a young, developing mind to play. However, I’d like to point out that:

·    It is just a game. It is not very realistic, it is clearly a fantasy environment where a person can do things he or she could never do in real life.
·    It is not for kids. At least to me, 14 is less than 18. While a lot can be said for the pressure kids can put on their parents to buy things for them that a parent would normal deem in appropriate, it is irresponsible and illegal in the first place for the parent to have provided a child with this game.

Why do I assume that a ‘parent’ bought the game for him? Simply because I have the naiveté to believe that a game store would read the very very clear warning label on a game’s box, and not break the law by selling it to anyone who didn’t have ID to prove they were of age.

The article goes on to say:

“Posey told police he shot his family after his father, the ranch foreman, slapped him for not cleaning horse stalls fast enough. His lawyers claimed his father had abused him for years and that the killings were committed in self-defence.”

Wait… is this a motive? I believe it is. Does it mention a video game? No.

Why am I making such a big deal out of this? I know that the people bringing this lawsuit are suffering from the tragic loss of three close family members. And I know that they believe that they have a cause for grievance against Sony for making the Playstation (Because without it he couldn’t have played the game), and with Take-2 for making the game (Which ‘gave him the idea’).

However - the simple fact of the matter is: A human being made a choice to shoot his family dead for reasons known only to him. If what he told the police was his true motive for killing them, then the father’s alleged years of physical and psychological abuse were to blame for his death, not the game.

But then again, since you can’t take it with you there’s no profit in suing a corpse.


Full Article at: http://news.scotsman.com/international.cfm?id=1434952006

Wow... I dunno where to begin with this,

First off - pictures at This Place

I'll post more later

Sunday Afternoon & Early Evening

Starting from Sunday Afternoon - the train ride, I met up with Laura on the train, we went to the Hostel we were staying at (Budget Backpackers, Cowgate – 4 star hostel, Clean, Safe, Reasonable. Next to Greyfrairs Kirk), and went to a bar for breakfast.

The place we ended up is called Frankenstein’s  and is decorated exactly like how the good Doctor’s lab will be if it was a bar and restaurant. We ordered Magner’s cider, because we were both melting in the heat. The drinks came over and the waitress took our breakfast orders, and then she asked the question: 

“Tea or Coffee? Would you like a beer, another cider, or a shot with a mixer?”

 You see, on Sundays they give you a free hard drink with breakfast! This is strange, but not unwelcome. The food came, and there was much rejoicing. Arrayed on the table were (all included in the breakfast), 2x Coffee, 2x Orange Juice, 2x Vodka Red Bull and 2x Magner’s. Our Beltane drinks-fest was well under way!

Iain, Laura’s brother met us in Frankenstein’s and joined us for breakfast, we dumped our shiz in the hostel and checked through our costumes. I had a misshap with mine. My lovely Summer Court white and blue and green cloak ripped when I was pulling it out of my bag and was ruined! So we had to costume shop. 

I ended up buying a second-hand (fake) bear-fur jacket, and Iain lopped off he sleeves and performed other amazing feats of tailoring and haberdashery and loaned me his spare red shirt – so I was very Winter Court – and with retrospect I think I was channelling the Red  Men because I was just wild.

Iain’s friend Dave joined us, and we were once more costume shopping – but couldn’t find anything suitable for him. By the time we were running around the store we were going to buy our makeup from ( blue woad) was closed, so we had to improvise. 

A quick trip to Boots the Chemist later and we were all set with eyeliner and coloured hairspray. Went back to the hostel, and got into our costumes, and into character.

Laura

(Click for a larger picture)

Laura was a White Lady – and looked stunning. Wise, noble and haughty.

 

Me

(Click for a larger picture)

I was part of The Lady’s guard (the other being Iain, who was resistant to being photographed). Wild, and protective. It looked a lot better with the fur jacket.

 We  went for dinner; back to Frankie’s (yes, in our costumes) –  as Dave joined us later (a friend of Laura and Iain), who has a discount card thingy. The food was also brilliant, and we had the same waitress are earlier, who was very interested in our costumes and the Festival.

After we ate, we went up the hill….

Beltane

Wow… I don’t know where to start with telling you all about the Beltane Festival last night. I guess I should start with a very brief explanation of Beltane, so…

Still writing the rest, I need to get it all straight in my head, but I'll edit later.

So, the costume I was making for the Beltane festival tomorrow has been a complete wash out. It looks stupid. the edges are frayed and it's not going to be finished because I've ran out of material TO finish with, so I'll be wearing my usual.

I really don't want to go now. At all.

But I'm gonna go anyways. I think.

Meh.

Well, here’s the first post of mine for a long time, so it’s gonna have to be a long one. There are PICTURES below.

So, where to start…

24th January 2006

On this day while off work ill for a medical condition, I was called by my employer to inform me that my services were no longer required, and was given 1 week’s notice. Since I was already on a week’s insurance line for illness, that would suffice as due notice.

24th February

Turned 21. Still Unemployed.

24th March

Went to my James’ 21st birthday party, it was a HELL of a lot of fun, I got plastered and he was stripped, and there was dancing and much rejoicing. Still unemployed.

24th of April

Still unemployed, so I picked up new sexy glasses.

Today

Tried to lighten my hair for the Beltane Festival in Edinburgh this Friday. You see, because of the wonderful genetics I’m blessed with, when I bleach my lovely brown hair, it turns the most wonderful ginger. Together with some woad, and some raggedy kiltness I would look decidedly Pictish.

The results were not good, while I was dying some linen to make my costume, I was lightening my hair. I left the peroxide stuff in too long, and my hair went the colour of straw, and was all patchy and horrible.

Wearing a hat to cover the mess, I went. Back to the store and bought some brown die to cover the blonde, and put everything right. The results were brilliant! My hair is heither brown, black or blonde, but Red. Vermillion, Scarlet, Ruby, RED. Crimson and delicious. I couldn’t be happier with it.!

On Sunday, I meet up with Laura and her brother and some other friends, we book into a youth hostel, change into our costumes, get drunk and head for Calton Hill, where the Festival takes place. It’s gonna be great!.

The festival starts at around 9pm, with a parade, that starts with The Green Man, The May Queen,  and such. There’s a parade with fire dancers, flaming arches are everywhere at the entrances to the hill, and the whole place is surrounded by a ring of fire.

It celebrates the start of summer in good, old fashioned Celtic tradition, and it’s gonna be great.

I’ll be posting stuff about it later.

I promised Kristie I'd post today so I am..

And I'm drunk!!!

So i'll post tomorrow maybe edit or something


WEee!

Wow… this is a first for while. One of my resolutions was to post more; so I guess I should start.

First off; I’ve just had the most amazing Weekend!

Amy, Nick and Amanda came up from Texas (via London, where they’re currently at college for a while)! I met them at Edinburgh Waverly Station, eventually after we walked past each-other a few times; with hindsight, we should have exchanged pictures or something before hand! But with that out of the way, and a few hugs ,handshakes and a very very very welcome box of Pocky later, we wandered over to the taxi-rank.

After waiting for about 10 minutes in the queue, a taxi eventually pulled up behind the one that was loading people in front of us, so I did the sensible thing, and walked behind the loading taxi to open the door.

After everyone had piled in, some random guy standing (out of the queue) started sounding off about us stealing his cab, which was of course nonsense. After a brief argument with the taxi driver we were off to the Hotel!

On the taxi had the first chance to properly talk and it was great! Within five minutes we were laughing around, and with Amy I felt like I’d known her all my life, its great when people click like that. Nick and Amanda are also really cool, although they were both a bit tired from the journey on the train.

We eventually arrived at the hotel about an hour later, they checked in and we just sat in the room for a while talking about random junk. Returned to the town centre; and I got us lost! But I feel I have to explain more:

It was dark. Everywhere looks different in the dark. Plus, I’m not actually from Edinburgh, and only work in a suburban business complex, some 6 miles from the city centre, and only visit the city during daylight hours to do shopping. So there.

It did turn out that we were going the right way all along, so it was all good, but I lost a few man-points on that one. We wondered around for a while, and grabbed a Pizza Hut – Nick was amazed that we had knives and forks, but that was ok, because bless his little cotton socks he was amazed at everything.

Skipping past a great night of laugher, some drinking and a few post-3am games of chess…

You don’t appreciate your surroundings unless you experience it through other people’s eyes. Saturday morning, we were back in the City, heading for the Castle. The beauty of Edinburgh is something I didn’t appreciate until I was walking up the most deadly path up to the Castle with the gang, the cityscape is striking. I won’t bore everyone with a dissertation on how beautiful Edinburgh is, you’ll have to come over some time (and I mean you Nora).

Anyways, reaching the Castle, we walked around it, and I learned things I never knew. I was moved nearly to tears in the War Memorial, and once more when viewing Scotland’s Honours (our Crown Jewels). Amy Nick and Amanda seemed to enjoy themselves greatly, the whole thing is kind of a haze for me.

Nick, thrice bless him! That guy is a ball of energy, he was bouncing around all hyper-like in genuine amazement, I have him to thank the most for opening my own eyes to how beautiful and interesting Edinburgh is, he was interested in everything  found everything he saw amazing and probably appreciated the caste in a way I never could.  He’s a wonderful guy, who has a very interesting taste in shirts, and is deceptively good at chess. I will be fulfilling my promise to him tomorrow, to send him out a £1 note.

Oh, and I taught him how to say ‘Edinburgh’, I am so proud of him.

Amy is awesome. That’s it, three words. Funny, smart and as mad as a hatter. We talked for ages about essentially nothing and she has proven the ‘friends the first time they met’ cliché, as have Amanda and Nick. We love the same things, although she has some strange dislikes, heh. She also looks really cool in a hat, although not as well as Amanda (sorry Amy).

Amanda is pretty sharp herself, although she was asleep for almost half the trip :-p she and Amy make a really good double act, and should seriously consider going on TV together. She’s been to Tokyo too, which is something we had in common, as well as an unhealthy obsession for Bleach (the Anime, not the cleaning product). She has this dashing Fedora she wore, and bought a sheep from one of the stores on the Royal Mile, which was pretty cute.

Overall, it was great meeting everyone, and I for one had a great time with them. Now every time I go to work, I won’t be able to do anything but remember them and probably laugh my ass off in the train. I can’t wait to get my ass over to Texas, which will be around May 26^th. I will edit this post later to add more details, and some pictures I took!

To Amy, Amanda and Nick: Come back anytime, y’all.

Wooo! Randomness


My life is rated R.
What is your life rated?

XD





XD I Swallow - how did it know!

And DAMN astridrai is gonna be busy.  Maybe I should up her hug quota?

Well… where to start?

Hmm… how about:

I hate my fucking job.

Yup, that should about do it. It used to be fun…. No not fun but at least tolerable. Yeah, I speak to people all over the country, however they’re all ignorant bastards, with only very, very few exception. Wow.. I always seem to have a pottymouth on this thing, don’t I?

Well anyhoos. I’m seriously considering handing in my notice, which will be on the lines off “Don’t expect me in tomorrow, or ever.”  This will hopefully work out well, as I’ve applied for another job – a programming one. Yup, something –relevant-. Lucky me, eh? Although I may quit anyway, I think I have a good chance of getting this job, because it’s something I can do so easily, and get paid £25k p/a for it (That’s $46,423.40)!

( Skipping my rant on my single status... click here to read it if you dare! )

To answer some silly questions:

Yes, I like Nightcrawler, any, regardless of the series / comic. Evolution Kurt is my favourite just now, but I change my mind often ^_^.

As a side note – Elijah Wood is also hot.

Anyhoos, That’s me done. I hope  astridrai  feels better soon . Hell, I hope I get this case settled soon so I can head out there to visit her!

Bye folks

Ry

Ok.. so first, yesterday:

Went to work for the first time in two weeks; and it sucked. I think even thinking about throwing myself down the fucking staris so I wouldn't have to go back for ANOTHER two weeks... but luckiliy, I never.

It was just one big bore after another- the work I mean. The people there couldn't be nicer, seemed half the place was worried about my brother and I, which was nice. Glad to know we were missed.

ALSO Turns out that I won the Bonus Ball when I was off sick (It's a thingy we do with the national lottery.. anyhoos), but since I wasn't in to pay for that week, I don't see a penny. Nevermind though, heh. I knew I had to win it sooner or later, and going by my luck is that area, it couldn't have happened at a better time.

So I came home (after a hella boring train ride), and byt he time I finished eating, I went upstairs to update this thing, and speak to my mates, but I just crashed. 10pm - 3am I was asleep. Finally got online, did my thing, and went back to be at 5am..


And now, for today:

Did nothing; enjoyed it. I'm still not sure if I'm supposed to have today of work or not., but noone's called, so I guess I'm safe.

Tried to put the covers back on the couch' cushions... but gave up after I ended up on my back on the livingroom floor burried under foam ><. Now that was fun.

I think I'll go rent a movie, and head along to 's place, She's gone all week, and he;s home alone. >D Nah... I'm not THAT bad, but a movie would be good.. not seen Kill Bill yet.

Anyhoos.. if I have anything else to add, I'll do it later.

Bye!
Ry!

Ok.. well I promised myself I'd keep XU out of my journal... but I need to rant about it, and noone else is online... well, noone I feel like disturbing with my rants anyhoos... so here goes:

I'm a manager there, have been for some time (years?). My biggest pet hate is Every fucking asshole and their fucking dog bitching at me to accept new members as if thier very life depended on me dropping everything I'm doing to serve their whims. It wouldn't be so bad if they were polite about it, but the assholes have the cheek (and not to mention, complete lack of respect), to ORDER me to do it. So I've decided that I'm no longer going to bother with that side of it anymore. Anyone asks me to do it from now on, they can all be told to go fuck themselves with a stick of dynamite!

I wouldn't bother so much if the munchkins actually -used- the characters that's clogging up the place, we have over 3000 "member", but probably closer to 100 actual PARTICIPATING community members, each of those having 30 charactes each... of which they use two, at the MOST. It's just damn stupid. They're dead weight. Of course, it's definatluy too much of a hastle to remove folks from the community... hmm, maybe I should post asking people to unjoin names they don't use?

Hell.. that would work if they read any of the fucking posts I make. I swear, I might as well be a bloodu ghost now. I may not participate nearly as much as I used to, but I'm still there pretty much every day, contributing in one way or another - just to be bloody ignored. No, I'm not attention seeking, just stating the fact. 90% of XU's members are selfish, cliqueish bastards. People who are so ignorant of common things such as manners, and curtosey that they shit all over people they THINK they don't know.

Things at XU have definatly went downhill over the past few year... guess what hit us the most was MSN Chat closing.. but still. Now, there are some great RPers at XU, and I count most of them among my friends (I won't list names here, a) I've not asked if I can, and b) it'll take far to long ANYWAYS), but even they make up only a small minority of participants now.

The level of apathy in the community is mind blowing. Noone wants to try anything new - and we've ALL Tried to introduce storylines, plots, things that could potentialy involve EVERYONE, but no. The only thing people use XU for now is homoerotic cybering, having an impossible ammount of children in an even shorter ammount of time, tearing at eachother with snide comments, bickering, and generally just getting on my fucking tits.

It's at times like this I wanna throw the whole thing in and head somewhere else. But I know how much work I've put into that place, how much work EVERYONE'S put into there, and I just get sad. XU was great once, now it's just... I dunno. The only work I can think of is "shit".

It's depressing...really, but I'm not gonna give up on it, it's had well over 5 years of my time (counting the hangout as well, which is a long, boring, story and one that's getting more and more similar to the current state of XU). I should probably just delete this rant, but I'm gonna leave it so I can read it manybe a few months down the line, and compare XU then to how it is now as I'm writing this, and if there's an improvment, I'll be happy.

So just to recap:

If you want your character accepted, bother someone else or fucking WAIT like sensible patient people.

Goodnight, take two.

Ry

Well... YAY for me!

It's 03:43, and I just can't sleep - though it's not for want of trying.

So yeah, work tomorr....TODAY, and that means I have to get up at 10am, as I have some errands to run in the city too... AND I need to take the train in. I have my new glases ready to pick up as well... so hoping I have enough cash, I'll be getting them today too! Yay! This of course, depends on me sleeping and waking up on time. See, I've got a funny feeling if I am late, I'm gonna get fired. And that would suck, big time. Not because the job's anything special, just becuase I need the damn cash.

So yeah, I'm tired, I can't sleep; so I'm all bad moody now. So off to XU I go! Maybe that'll cheer me up (Or, as is more likley, put me to sleep).

Haven't spoken to Nora much today... hope everything's ok there. But yeah, I suppose everything else is good.. apart from me being as sleepy as hell-o.

Blah... Night

Ry

Yeah, well the thing that most of you who've read my few posts will have noticed is that I don't bother to spellcheck my postings. Typos happen, it's something I have to live with every day, and I've decided to inflict them on you all too! :D Aint I kind?

And now onto my day:
It's been good! Fell asleep at 7 this morning.. or something. Woke up at 3 to go to the store with my mum to pick up my gran's birthday present (a day late -.-). Headed around there, stayed for an hour, came home, and then I cooked dinner.

I love cooking, almost as much as singing. I like to think I'm good at it. Cooking I mean. I used to work in a Chinese takeaway when I was at college, and I learned so much there. My boss, Gordon was great for answering all of my questions about stuff, and from watching him I learned how to cook half the menu.

So yeah, I made chinese food today, black bean chicken. And there was much rejoycing. Even my dad (Who's a pretty good cook) seemed to like it, high praise indeed.

So now, dinner is over, and I'm thinking about doing some Roleplaying in XU... dun think I'll bother though, I'm having too much time talking to my friends in whisper and on IM. Heh, I must be getting pretty rusty at it now.

Anyhoos... Work tomorrow. I've been off work the past two weeks after a car crash in which my brother's car was written off by a Ford Transit, which forgot that one STOPS and junctions and WAITS for oncoming traffic to clear before proceeding. I'm suing him good. Bastard left me with whiplash, back and side, chest and shoulder injuries. I'm not 100% yet, but I'm getting stir crazy not doing anything. At least with work I get away with being an asshole.

What do I do? Well.. for now I work in a call center for BT, the biggest (and oldest) Telecomunications company in the UK (and probably the world too...). I'm a member of the Payment Collections Team - yup a debt collector. But the nice kind. We give warning before we cut people's phones off for not paying. Sometimes a whole 5 minutes, if I'm in a good mood.

It's taught me a lot about the world. Most of the people who don't pay live in the richest areas of the country (I was once speaking to this guy's BUTLER). They get really pissy when you tell them a bill is over due - not becuase they think you calling them's rude, well not ONLY, but becuase the bill is usualy pretty low... like £20, and these snobbish bastards don't deal with anything under £50. I dunno... the ammount of shit I take at that job... Heh, I guess it's porportianal to the ammount I give out.

I won't be there for much longer though - hopefully I'll be in Japan soon, teaching English to the masses! For a whole YEAR! Well.. here's hoping.

Anyhoos, I'ma gonna go, might post more later.

Ja!

Well.. 2 in the same day. This is where people usually order me to sleep, but anyhoos..

I want to apologise to everyone who feels disgrntled about my age. But geez, get over it. Well... I guess that's rather cold of me, but I don't honestly feel that it's all that much of a deal. I can see it from the point of view that I was lying; but all I can do is apologise for that too. Forgive, and forget, yeesh. It's not as if I'm some 50 year old netpervert am I?


Meh..

Ry

Well... this is the first entry of what will hopefully by many.

I guess the first thing that people will notice when they're poking around here is my date of birth. It's real. Yup, Ry is 19. Not to much that big a shock, espeically to those of you who've realised that someone can't be 18 for 3 (or more) years. I think that's probably the worst lie I've ever told in my online life. Not that it's really all that unusual, everyone lies about thier age don't they? Mneh... I guess it'll probably piss some people off, but with the mood I'm in just now, the prospect doesn't seem to bother me.

Well.. not to worry. So I'm a few years younger than what you might thing, but I'm still the same wacky, moody, nutso fag that everyone seems to like well enough. Guess it has to do with my winning charm, and brilliant smile eh? ;).

This LJ is the result of m'good freind Nora (I have no idea if she'll like me posting her name here... hopefully I can edit it out if I need to), and her begging me to get one. I decliened to, thinking I won't have the time to do anything to it, but then - I spend most of my time sitting on my ass bored in front of a computer of some description anyways, so finding time shouldn't be that much of a problem.

Also, my mind's in a bit of a jumble jkust now, not sure exactly what I want, or where I want to be going. Or more to the point -who- I want. Writing stuff down usually clears my head, and maybe ranting here will help be find some clear answer.

I'm jumping ahead as I'm wirting to play with some of the other options here... and I notice the "moods list" Do the kind people at LJ know that most of the moods they list are mutually exclusive? Ah well... I guess I'm just being picky, but then that's me all over - sometimes.

I seem to be very easy to annoy latley too... It's probably due to my out-of-whack sleeping patterns, but that's no excuse. I'm always irritable when I can't see what's coming, or when I'm feeling particularlay vulnerable. Heh, that's a strange word for me. Most people seem to view me as their rock, someone they can give thier deepest problems and fears to, and I'll fix them, generally give great advice; and then have noone I feel I can turn to myself.

Now, don't get me wrong here at all. I love helping people. Making people happy is something I take great pleasure in. If I can help any of my friends, even by listening to a 20 page rant about something or other, then I'll do it. I know my friends would do the same for me, but then I'm always too proud to ask them to. But that's not the point. The point is, I love every single person I call friend, and that's why I'm always there if I'm needed, ready to shoulder burdens for them. That's what friends do. Damn... talk about word over-use there.

I've lost where I was going, so I'll start on a new tangent. I'm single, I hate it. Yeah, typical teenage angst, right? Heh, I guess it is. But the fact of the matter is, I spend all of my time fixing other peoples relationships that I never have any lasting ones of my own. Most of my good friends know my war stories, and yes, ALL of them are true. Even the one about the field and the police.

Right now, relationships are where I feel most vulnerable - especially with my brother, (Whom I love so dearly, but seldom ever tell him. He's my twin, and older by 12 minutes.. and that's pretty much all you need to know). No, I'm not talking about having a relationship with my brother.. I just relaised how wrong the start of this paragraph sounded, but it's easier to ramble on the correct, so onwards I go. My brother is now engaged to one of the most wonderful people I know. I am truley happy for both of them, especially after the mess my brother was in at the end of his last relationship with a fat money-grabbing whore with no soul - and belive me, I know these things.

Well anyhoos, back to my point. I think that now everyone around me has someone, I should be with someone too, right? Well.. here's where my bad luck comes in.

Every guy I ask out is straight. Oh, yeah, I'm gay by the way - redundant but probably still worth mentioning. I think I'll take that back. Every guy I've asked out since the end of High School has been straight. And what's more - the one guy I think I really do love (Who is the son of a close family friend, and exactly, and I mean to the -day and time- one month younger than me), has a girlfriend. That's probably not as catastrophic as you might think though. While she's nuts about him (and unfortunatly for me, also very likeable), he seems rather uninterested in certain respects. I know, and he knows that he's not in the right -kind- of relationship for himself, but he's stuck with her.

That's his lot I suppose, and I can't do anything more than be a friend, to both of them, but it really cuts me up sometimes, and I think that's also understable. I would never break any couple apart, especially for my benifit, and becuse of it; I'll just have to wait both them out, and... I almost said pray, but I certainly don't do that... hope that he comes to his senses.

But I'm not so stupid I'd save myself for him, and pass up any chance of happines, even if momentery, if it presents it's self to me. I believe it has in a freind of mine from University, although even there I'm probably dead wrong, and still lusting after a straight guy. Guess I'll find out about that soon enough too.

And... I'm out of stuff to write, so I think I'll just post this, and see how it goes.. and maybe figure out how I'm to change the ugly default look all these journals have.

Toodles, Ry.